December 21, 2011
Today is the first day of my holiday break. And after that? Nine more work days before I put myself into unemployment. Today I am breathing. In and out. Just breathing. It is one of the most incredible experiences. Deep breathing. One. Two. Three. My body is light with the feeling. This may be a joy that I have not known in oh too many years. In and out. Unencumbered. I am not waiting for something. I am not looking back at something. I am breathing. So that is what it feels like?
I sense that as a child I may have sat on a tree branch and been so completely there that I was filled with the simple joy of life. Perhaps as I grew older this was a remembrance and a renewed sense of peace during summer vacations and Christmas breaks. I don't remember now. Maybe this is the first time I am so aware of the joy in breathing. In. Out.
For the past two years deep breathing never happened. I'd cough. My lungs would not expand. Oh, I said. So this is aging. Not good but I'll learn to live with it. Shallow breaths. Now I wonder. I am older by two years. In, deeply. Out, deeply. Perhaps I'm giddy with the whole experience of so much oxygen entering my blood stream. Or maybe I'm simply giddy from the experience.
My mantra through the next few weeks? Life is short. Stress kills. But there may be a road home to self. Maybe there is a path that turns away from stress. In. Out.
I sense that as a child I may have sat on a tree branch and been so completely there that I was filled with the simple joy of life. Perhaps as I grew older this was a remembrance and a renewed sense of peace during summer vacations and Christmas breaks. I don't remember now. Maybe this is the first time I am so aware of the joy in breathing. In. Out.
For the past two years deep breathing never happened. I'd cough. My lungs would not expand. Oh, I said. So this is aging. Not good but I'll learn to live with it. Shallow breaths. Now I wonder. I am older by two years. In, deeply. Out, deeply. Perhaps I'm giddy with the whole experience of so much oxygen entering my blood stream. Or maybe I'm simply giddy from the experience.
My mantra through the next few weeks? Life is short. Stress kills. But there may be a road home to self. Maybe there is a path that turns away from stress. In. Out.
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