Leap of Faith
I am moving closer to my Leap of Faith. My life, like so many others, has taken twists and turns. Some have been joyful and I've gained great meaning from these. Others have been challenges that I've also learned from. The main lessons I've learned? Life is short. Joy is important. Stress kills. I'm moving through the autumn of my life and joy is lacking but stress is abundant.
When I was married my husband told me that one of my major weaknesses was that I always tried to be happy. No matter what was going on I always worked to structure the moment so I could find joy. When he left me....joy did return.
Two years ago I was transferred within my work environment to a position that did not use my strengths and constantly dragged me down. I had a small wisp of understanding about being a slave and having no say about my own future. The position was one I would never have sought or been hired to do. Let me say that if I were a 20-something I would have used this as a way to gain experience and vault myself forward. At 60 I tried to find every opportunity to uncover projects where my skills would be used advantageously and be of benefit to my work place. But, after 2 years, the truth is that they had hoped I would be so frustrated that I would quit. So I was called back in and given another new job descriptions and I finally said no. My strengths do not matter and my trying to put some happiness in my environment is buried in stress.
Stress kills. Life is short. Leap of faith. On January 3rd I am turning in my resignation. I am 61 years old. The economy sucks. But, in my heart and in my soul, I believe there is something else that I can be rather than an old, used-up, disgruntled unvalued employee. I will find the joy in the moment and I will find a place to be.
I've lost my sparkle. I am on the journey to Kay. I know she is out there. This blog is step one, actually. I will try to add something almost every day and return to writing. Writing was a joy. Writing is still a friend.
When I was married my husband told me that one of my major weaknesses was that I always tried to be happy. No matter what was going on I always worked to structure the moment so I could find joy. When he left me....joy did return.
Two years ago I was transferred within my work environment to a position that did not use my strengths and constantly dragged me down. I had a small wisp of understanding about being a slave and having no say about my own future. The position was one I would never have sought or been hired to do. Let me say that if I were a 20-something I would have used this as a way to gain experience and vault myself forward. At 60 I tried to find every opportunity to uncover projects where my skills would be used advantageously and be of benefit to my work place. But, after 2 years, the truth is that they had hoped I would be so frustrated that I would quit. So I was called back in and given another new job descriptions and I finally said no. My strengths do not matter and my trying to put some happiness in my environment is buried in stress.
Stress kills. Life is short. Leap of faith. On January 3rd I am turning in my resignation. I am 61 years old. The economy sucks. But, in my heart and in my soul, I believe there is something else that I can be rather than an old, used-up, disgruntled unvalued employee. I will find the joy in the moment and I will find a place to be.
I've lost my sparkle. I am on the journey to Kay. I know she is out there. This blog is step one, actually. I will try to add something almost every day and return to writing. Writing was a joy. Writing is still a friend.
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